Funny Things Written by Kids in Essays

The following quotes were accounts of history written by kids in their essays. What grade do you think they earned for writing statements like these? Oh, weeping for the future of humanity…
“The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.”

“Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.”

“In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.”

“Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.”

“Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: ‘Tee hee, Brutus.'”

Continue reading

Posted in Funny Quotes | Leave a comment

Some Funny Thoughts

“Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.”
[George Carlin]

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”

“Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.”
[Jerry Seinfeld]

“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”
[A. Whitney Brown]

Posted in Funny Quotes | Leave a comment

Friendship Quotes: A Good Friend

Some of our favorite friendship quotes:

“A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.”
[Walter Winchell]

“Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.”
[Elbert Hubard]

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival.”
[C. S. Lewis]

“The best mirror is an old friend.”
[George Herbert]

“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.”
[Henry Ford]

Continue reading

Posted in Friendship, Love Quotes | Leave a comment