Quotes for the Category: 'Funny Quotes'
Hilarious Quotes
“Yesterday, a policeman in Pennsylvania broke up a robbery at a Dunkin’ Donuts. When he was congratulated on the successful stakeout he said, `What stakeout?’”
“McDonald’s announced they will be adding 25 percent more beef to their hamburgers. As a result, McDonald’s hamburgers will now feature 25 percent beef.”
“I read today in the paper that the Pope was a soccer goalie in his youth. Apparently, even as a young man he tried to stop people from scoring.”
“A new study by the American Medical Association shows that having sex does not trigger a heart attack — it’s getting caught having sex that triggers the heart attack.”
Lost in Translation - Funny Translation Quotes
Ever seen something that was lost in the translation? Check out these funny quotes that weren’t translated quite right..
Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux were embarassed to find lackluster sales when they used the following slogan in an advertising campaign in America: “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.”
Coke in China? The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax” depending on the dialect. The Coca-Cola corporation then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, “ko-kou-ko-le,” which can be loosely translated as “happiness in the mouth.” Much better, wouldn’t you say?.
That’s One Amazing Soft Drink. In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” came out as “Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead.”
When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say “It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you.” However, the company’s mistakenly thought the spanish word “embarazar” meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that “It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant.”
The old Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan “finger-lickin’ good” came out as “eat your fingers off.” in Chinese. Whoops.
Funny Things Written by Kids in Essays
The following quotes were accounts of history written by kids in their essays. What grade do you think they earned for writing statements like these? Oh, weeping for the future of humanity…
“The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.”
“Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.”
“In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.”
“Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.”
“Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: ‘Tee hee, Brutus.’”